“To be true to yourself takes courage. It requires you to be introspective, sincere, open-minded and fair. It does not mean that you are inconsiderate or disrespectful of others. It means that you will not let others define you or make decisions for you that you should make for yourself.“
Everyone is unique and have their own histories, stories, and life paths. I believe the following are a few ways that we can be honest with ourselves and live openly.
Here are 5 Ways to Be True To Yourself:
1) Take responsibility for your life & actions.
We are responsible for our life. When we understand that we have to be true to ourselves, life then takes on a whole new meaning. Thing is, too many times we are stuck with what people have done to us and not what we have done to others. We have to really understand that life is fragile, short and full of joy if we actually take on the responsibility of our life with our words as well as actions. The sooner we take to and step-up to provide value and nurture the relationships with time, words, actions, love, care and forgiveness instead of craving, demanding attention of others, the sooner we get whole. And that is the start of a new confident person.
2) Understand Your Values
Having values and being able to define them makes life easier. Value is “a strongly held belief about what is valuable, important, or acceptable”. Values are important because they act as guidelines for the events in your life. It took a while to find my own values – I am a homebody who values hard work, nurturing, passionate about loving people in my life and making a difference. To me, it’s important to encourage people to be their best not just with words and actions but by being transparent about my life and journey.
The sooner you find your values, the easier it becomes because your behavior is guided by a set of values and not just how you feel at the moment.
Don’t wait any longer, find your values here and you’ll find your center.
3) Have Goals And Align Them With Your Values
Do not just sleepwalk through your life but have some goals. Set some limits, create some boundaries, etch some lines in the sand and reach those lines to stretch yourself. Create the structure of routine and discipline. And we can only feel productive when we are working towards something!
One of my fitness goals is to be able to do 10 chin-ups. I am strength training this past month and can now do 3 mini pull ups (you know the lame ones!) but that is some progress from what I had started – I couldn’t even hang on the bar because my shoulders weren’t strong enough to hold my OWN fucking weight.
What are your goals? Are you better (in comparison with yourself) today than you were yesterday? If you answered, yes you have my sincere pat on the back 🙂
5) Pay extra attention to self-talk
While this may sound redundant to mindfulness, it’s not! We have wicked ways to convince ourselves of that one more handbag that we have been wanting to buy or eat that extra bite of chocolate. But this very self-talk makes us believe things that we either later on feel guilty about or develop a distorted view of how things should be. While chocolate and handbag are at the lower pedestal of “important things in life” – what we think of ourselves, what we want other to think of us or how others should be treating us something we must have a firm grip on – to be whole. And this is where attention to self-talk comes in.
Learn to separate lies that the “negative-self” could bring up or anything negative that makes you undermine your own strengths. Remember that it’s easy to judge or condemn others but remain honest with your true self by monitoring your negative thoughts – observe and then let them go like fluffy clouds floating away with the wind.
Bonus: Choose Grace Over Guilt
We all make mistakes and when it comes to the realization – drop the big ego, admit your mistake and learn from it! It doesn’t make any difference if we continue to do the same thing that hurts our near and dear ones or even ourselves. And even if you end up doing something you regret, forgive yourself – choose grace over guilt. Understand that you are learning and growing and it’s ok to make mistakes. Just let it go and start over!
If you made it this far, I’ll leave you with this awesome article link.
If you are still here, What do you think is a way to be true to ourselves?2